Tuesday, May 6, 2014

Emotional Abuse

Signs of Emotional Abuse

In light of our discussions about the elusive nature of emotional abuse, I thought I'd post this here. It's just one of many lists of emotionally abusive behaviors anyone can access by a quick google search. 

Emotional abuse is so hard to articulate and define when you're being subjected to it, even though it can effect the victim, in both the long and short term, incredibly negatively. It's just the nature of the beast; when an abuser is attempting to make you feel crazy, to make you question your valid emotional responses to their behavior or to events in your life, to make you feel like the demanding nature of your relationship is normal, etc... it's easy to see how difficult it can be to wrap your head around what's so wrong about what's going on in your relationship. 

Why are you reacting so extremely to such small things?, you might wonder. All the while failing to realize that the macro picture of all the small things is actually a big deal. 

It strikes me, though, that once you see a list like this, as a victim, everything falls into place. Suddenly it all makes perfect sense. This, you realize, is what's wrong with my relationship.

~Jessica Franzoi

See: Diane Shoos

Lena Dunham's show "Girls" Accused of Racism

"Girls" still racist

Rebecca's mention of Lena Dunham, creator of HBO series "Girls", I remembered that there was a storm of accusations that the show was racist a while back. This Salon article pretty well exemplifies what the controversy was about. 

I'm finding some interesting corollaries between the controversy about "Girls" lack of/poor representations of people of color and the frequent lack of representations of women of color in feminist discourse. After all, "Girls" is a pretty revolutionary show with regards to its depictions of young women (young women as fully-fledged humans who have actual lives, who have conversations and thoughts that don't involve men every time, who are more than just pathetic attempts at "strong female characters"... even if they're a rather racially and economically homogeneous group of young women who drop a lot of silly one-liners). It's too bad that it has failed so spectacularly at portraying people of color/economically disadvantaged people. 

In one of the show's subsequent seasons, the fantastic and talented Donald Glover made an appearance as Lena's short-term boyfriend. I'm not sure I'm willing to take on whether his character was a better and more fully-fledged representation of a person of color, but it did seem like a rather pointed and direct response to the previous accusations of racism (if I recall correctly, Glover's character leaves Lena's character precisely because of some issue the two were having about her understanding of race). In any event, given the show's female-centric nature, I would have preferred to see a woman of color. 

Anyway, I'll leave you with this smart and funny webseries, "The Mis-Adventures of Awkward Black Girl". Unfortunately, the series appears to have stopped producing new episodes, but it was a great show created by a woman of color, from a woman of color's perspective, and it portrays a host of fully-developed characters from a lot of different backgrounds.

~Jessica Franzoi

see: Audre Lorde
Despite New Law, Gender Pay Gap Persists
The Jobs With The Biggest (And Smallest) Pay Gaps Between Men and Women
The Wage Gap Between Moms, Other Working Women
The wage gap, then why we don't talk about our paychecks at work

I heard a great piece on WHYY the other day (on my way to our class, actually) about the wage gap. The guest had a really balanced viewpoint, which both acknowledged that the wage gap was "technically" closing but also that women are still faced with a lot of barriers in regards to getting equal pay (that women don't just make choices that affect their income potential because they want to, but that they are also pressured and socialized into making certain choices). 

Unfortunately, I can't find the exact interview, so here's some links about the wage gap from NPR. 

~Jessica Franzoi

Reddit... The Reason I'm a Feminist

I joined reddit three years ago and, gee whiz, it was a rude awakening. Peo.ple always tell me that what I see there shouldn't bother me because it's just the stupid internet, but there are thousands of people behind those glowing screens who actually think the most misogynistic crap I have ever heard in my life and there are hundreds of thousands more who endorse that crap with upvotes. And it's not just confined to the multitude of particularly horrible subreddits, it permeates the whole site. 

I wasn't even aware of some of the horrible ideas people had before I joined reddit, and the moment I realized how pervasive these ideas were was the moment I decided I didn't mind being labeled a feminist no matter how many people think "feminist" is a dirty word. And upon deciding that, I became open to learning a lot more about feminism, which has really helped me to define my ideology and views. 

~Jessica Franzoi

See some of the worst offenders:
http://www.reddit.com/r/mensrights (I'm not completely opposed to the basic idea behind men's rights, but boy these particular people really hate women)
http://www.reddit.com/r/theredpill (a bunch of men who think that women hold all the power and in order to get sex they need to be absolutely horrible people)
http://www.reddit.com/r/theredpillwomen (a bunch of women who agree with those men who think women hold all the power and want to use it to their advantage; it's been made private so subscribe at your own risk)

Also see: Marilyn Frye

No Means Yes

A thought about the ever-present "No Means No" rhetoric. 

"No Means No" gets taught alongside sexual education (in places where comprehensive sexual education actually exists) and it's become pretty much the extent of what we, as a society, have to say to teenagers about consent. 

The problem is... we human beings are super good at justifying our actions to ourselves. "No Means No" leaves a whole heck of a lot of room for us to come up with gray areas where none exist. "No Means No" leaves room for us to wheedle our partner into a reluctant "yes"; it allows us to pretend that we aren't good enough at reading body language to ascertain that our partner means no when they're pushing us away or acting nervous; it lets us think to ourselves that having sex with our significant other when they're passed out drunk is fine because they probably would have said yes anyway.

The average human being is not willing to admit to himself/herself that he/she is a rapist. Rape isn't always about sadism and control... a lot of times it's just about someone not respecting boundaries, not having enough empathy, or just wanting what they want. But, even when rape isn't motivated by some perverse desire to hurt other people, it's still rape. And we need to leave less room for people to excuse the inexcusable by having a legitimate, comprehensive discussion about the nature of consent. 

In a society in which rape culture is in full force, in which girls are socialized to avoid asserting themselves, in which the sexualization and objectification of women is inextricably linked to violence and brutality in media, "No Means No" is not enough. It effectively robs the idea of consent of any meaning whatsoever. 

~Jessica Franzoi

See: Continuum of Harm

The Problem with Cultural Relativism: An Unsolicited Opposing Viewpoint

A while back, my boyfriend put on a great audio book by an atheist author about religion, ethics, and cultural relativism. Alas, I don't know the author's name or the title of the book and my boyfriend has absolutely no idea what I'm talking about, so I can't link it directly. But it brought up some really great points and it got me thinking. 

I want to try to put together some links that will help illustrate the point and summarize the main idea (although, unfortunately, I can't put it nearly as eloquently as the author did). I think it ties in perfectly with a ton of ideas we discussed in class - the privileged position of Christianity in America, universal human rights, cultural relativism (obviously), etc. - and it can be easily and effectively applied to women's rights and feminism. 

The heart of the problem is essentially this: As long as an injustice is rooted in some traditional or cultural practice or belief, we cannot, as cultural relativists, object. 

As ethical absolutists, however, we are free to make the assertion that some things are always wrong and unethical and we can justify action. I'm sure, upon hearing this, many people would be quick to make accusations of ethnocentrism.  It is assumed that an absolutist believes that her culture is the one who has ethical behavior right. But the absolutism we're talking about  has absolutely no basis in ethnocentrism. It is just the assertion that ethical behavior is not subjective

In fact, it should be noted here that cultural relativism actually mimics ethnocentrism in that it doesn't allow us even to criticize our own culture. How can a cultural relativist say, for instance, that rape culture and its effects in her own country are unethical when rape culture is... rooted in the traditional structure of patriarchy in her country's culture? How can she really assert that anything, no matter how heinous, is wrong when she believes there is nothing she is qualified to assert is objectively wrong? She can't, really. 

Ethical absolutism allows us to make the assertion that rape culture is wrong, that the subjugation of the LGBTQ community is wrong, that racism is wrong, that the recent attacks on women's access to birth control are wrong, that female genital mutilation is wrong, that circumcision is wrong,  regardless of these practices' roots in our nation's or any others' cultural traditions. 

But who decides what is ethical? How can anyone say they know for sure what is ethical? Well, that's another question entirely, and it's the root of the problem which we must acknowledge with absolutism. There isn't really any one person qualified to decide and, as of this moment in history, there is no way to know for sure what is ethical. 

But that doesn't mean relativism is the answer. And that doesn't mean that there is no way at all to determine what is objectively ethical. Many people would contend that religion is the answer to how we determine objective ethics. This is likely not the place to get into everything wrong with that idea, but suffice it to say that it's arguable whether religion's point is even to define moral/ethical behavior. Religious texts and traditions are full of irreconcilable contradictions about what constitutes ethical behavior and they condone an incredible amount of behaviors which almost anyone would agree are absolutely unethical. 

It's perfectly possible that science can actually give us the answer to the question one day. But until then, even if it never comes to pass, nothing is stopping us from doing our best to refine how we define objective ethical behavior

The bottom line is... It's not intolerant to refuse to tolerate intolerance (now say that 5 times fast). 

~Jessica Franzoi

Radhika Coomaraswamy

Penn & Teller - The Obesity Epidemic is "Bullshit!"

Penn and Teller tackle the "Obesity Epidemic" in this episode of their awesome (and profane) show "Bullshit!".  
  • Obesity is not a contagious disease or an "epidemic"
  • Weight is not a good indicator of an individual's health
  • We don't actually know how to get good, permanent weight loss results
  • BMI was invented by a mathematician in the 1800s for the purpose of statistical analysis of large populations... it wasn't intended to indicate health or how much any individual "should" weigh relative to their height.
  • Drug companies and companies who push weight loss programs have a pretty huge interest in making sure weight loss techniques don't work (who'da thunk it?).
Check it out. 


~Jessica Franzoi

See: Cole and Sabik

Faking It- A Rant. By, Chloe Montgomery

After a semester thinking about feminism I have noticed so many things in society that I had not before... One of those things (that was previously mentioned in another post below) was the MTV show called "Faking It". 
At first, I was excited to see a mainstream TV channel (one that contributes to social myths) taking on something of this nature. I hoped that by having a story centered around a lesbian couple, that perhaps it would help dispel some of the problems with media in society and how it portrays these characters, usually being stock characters.
Upon watching the show I was excited and also disappointed. The premise is that two girls in attempts to become popular at their ultra-hip and politically correct high school will pretend to be lesbians in order to gain popularity. Problem number one: this insinuates that lesbianism is other, and not normal. Because the school celebrates unique-ness (lesbianism being one of these celebrated "unique" things), the girls receive immediate popularity. They are only "faking it" to be popular. I appreciate that the school is supportive, but what does it say about the premise of the show that we must label something as "unique" in order for it be okay? Being a lesbian is not "unique" or "other" in this sense, for the show causes this "unique" word to teeter dangerously close towards being deviant. I want a world where there the lead of the show is a lesbian and there is no hidden agenda beyond that.
Maybe I'm just reading too much into that...
It is my belief that the two best friends in the show will eventually realize that although they have been faking being lesbian, they actually love each other, and possibly want to be together (no longer "faking it")... But until the show gets this far does it only purport these issues that go along with the invisibility of lesbians? 
In other ways, I thought the show played into stereotypes a little too much. The one best friend has a secret affair with a "hot" "popular" male. She wanted the male's attention prior to her "faking it" but upon coming out with her girlfriend in public she realized that being a lesbian was the perfect way for her to receive his attention. Especially because the male in this case decidedly wants to "be with a lesbian". This only purports the entire myth that lesbianism in society is only for males pleasure. 
Maybe this will be resolved within the show later, but I am already worried about how this will be perceived to the younger generation watching this TV show. (I.e. It's cool to be a lesbian because it will get you the hot guy...) 

These are just some of my rant-worthy thoughts about this new television show.

-Chloe Montgomery

Saturday, May 3, 2014

Women's Boxing Fights for Equality

http://www.bgdailynews.com/news/women-s-boxing-fights-for-equality-coach-says/article_80f89405-78d9-52be-a42b-70c666e20f79.html

Christy Halbert, a women’s boxing coach in the London 2012 Summer Olympics, said the sport still seeks to knock out inequality. Halbert said it took women’s boxing 108 years to join men’s boxing in the Olympic Games, and when it did in 2012 in London, those formulating the rules wanted different ones for the male and females. Halbert didn’t want different rules, but equality. This article is about the steps towards making boxing more equal between the genders. Being a woman boxer myself, I find this article very intriguing, and I would definitely want to be held to the same standards as men are in boxing.
-Rebecca Weiss

Why Some Men Actually Try to Make Women Cry At Work

http://www.takepart.com/article/2014/01/23/women-work-dont-cry-dont-get-mad-and-other-sexist-commands

This article reminded me of when we had a discussion in class on how women are supposed to hide their emotions, but I thought this article hit on an interesting point in regards to the workforce. According to a new study, men will purposely try to anger their opponents in order to win. This can be considered very common in the work environment, especially with women getting more corporate jobs than in previous years. Emotions should not be banned from the office, but I think it is definitely something to be aware about.

-Rebecca Weiss

Labels Against Women-Pantene Commercial

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kOjNcZvwjxI

This video clip by Pantene is a great example of the double bind. While women do the same thing as men, women are often judged or critiqued as the clip demonstrates. This clip is very powerful, but then again it is still just trying to get consumers to buy shampoo, so I feel like it's not as empowering as they thought it would be.

-Rebecca Weiss

Lena Dunham on Her Sister's Coming Out

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/daily/2014/04/lena-dunham-point-foundation-honors

Lena Dunham is the writer, director, producer, and star of the HBO hit series, "Girls" and this article she talks about her unconditional love for her sister coming out as gay at age 17. Lena says that she has always felt a special connection with people in the LGBT community, and she is so happy that her sister is gay. It's almost funny how Lena mentions that she was upset that she realized she's attracted to men and not women, so it's almost like her sister is living through her passions and desires. I thought it was great that Lena also mentioned that in her show "Girls" they make an effort to show non-stereotypical examples of the different ranges of people, which I think is a great step in the right direction

-Rebecca Weiss

Feminism for Pre-Teens

http://www.theguardian.com/theobserver/she-said/2014/may/04/feminism-for-pre-teens-delivered-along-with-pink-nail-stickers

I found this article very interesting, and definitely a step in the right direction. "Girl Talk," which is the UK's longest running girl's title has gone feminist and started creating positive images and encouraging words for pre-teens. Marketing and the media in general has a huge impact on how people, especially pre-teen girls feel about themselves. This campaign is great, and hopefully something like this will happen in the US soon.

-Rebecca Weiss